He got on his horse and he rode over there...
and he got off, and he walked as far as he could one way.
And then he turned around, and he walked as far as he could to the other.
And then he decided that that's where he was going to settle.
And that's where we raised Frank and Tommy.
- Where do you call home? - She's from New York, Mom.
Um...
Well, I was born in London, but I'm from all over really.
My father was a diplomat, and so we moved constantly.
Oh, my. That sounds very important.
No.
No, he was, he was a wonderful man.
He died when I was 12, but we, we lived all over the world.
We... It's, it's not the same as, as knowing a place like this.
Well, sometimes people carry it more on the inside...
than the outside.
If it hadn't have been for them troublesome doggies...
I suppose I could gather up some of these cups and plates.
- You guys done with these? - Yeah?
You better give me that recipe. It was really...
I know, I know. Be glad to tell her anything.
This family has quite a history.
Yeah, it's a story, all right.
- I love how she calls him Tommy. - Yeah, always did.
I think she always favored him.
She loves tellin' this story about...
when he was two years old, he ran off...
and they found him sleepin' in the barn...
between two giant hooves of a Percheron stallion.
He said that horse was protectin' him, and nobody could convince him otherwise.
Why do you always wear that hat?
'Cause it fits my head.
- Wanna try it on? - Come on!
What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do?
Huh? What? What do you call that?
Okay, one more time.
You gonna, you gonna sit on me? Here.
So you can watch this 'cause I don't wanna do this too many times, okay?
Put your finger up. Okay?
Okay? Loop's knotted, right?
Looks like the only way to get it off is to break the touch, right?
Now watch. You watchin'?
Watch careful.
- Again! Again! - Again! Again! One more time.
Oh, no, no. I don't fall for that one twice.
Now, you guys get on in before your mother calls you.
- Here. - So...
Thank you.
- What? - Do you ever sit still for just a minute?
Well, you sit still too long in New York and you get renovated.
Why is it, Mr. Booker, that sometimes I get the feeling that you're laughing at me?
I don't know. Why?
No. You're supposed to say you're not laughing at me.
Oh, I see. You take care of both sides of the conversation, do you?
It's a man's world, Mr. Booker. Most women have to.
You can call me Tom.
Maybe I am laughin' a little bit.
I figure since you're here, it might be nice to relax into the place a bit.
Yeah.
Well, it's beautiful country.
And I could see having some kind of a...
you know, vacation place, retreat.
But I don't know how you do it full-time.
Don't you miss the rest of the world?
What's there to miss?
Well, if you've never lived in a city with...
with museums and theatre and...
and restaurants and music...
uh, well, I can't explain.
Well, does Chicago count?
- You lived in Chicago? - That's where I met my wife.
You, you were, you were married to a woman in Chicago?
Yeah, really. A woman.
No, I'm sorry. I didn't, I didn't... No, I'm so...
I was studying engineering...
and she was studying music, the cello.
And I once heard her play a Dvorak concerto...
and I thought it was the most beautiful piece of music I'd ever heard in my life.
So, just who's laughin' at who here?
Jogger, huh?
I don't jog, Mr. Booker. I run.
Well, that's lucky for you.
Grizzlies around here mostly go for joggers.
You sleepin' okay in that house?
Well, I don't sleep well anywhere, but the house is fine, yeah.
Oop. I have a way with animals.
That's all right. He's just young.
Here, hold out your hand just a little lower. That's it.
So he can get the smell of you.
He's beautiful.
- Now, how come you don't ride anymore? - Hmm?
Grace told me you used to ride when she was younger.
- She did? - Yep.
Uh, I don't know.
Uh, no time, I guess.
I thought it was supposed to be spring.
Enjoy the day.
You, too.
Come take a ride with me.
- Can you drive? - Drive? Not old enough.
Well, it's never too soon to start. Here. Get in.
Uh, I, I can't.
Come on. I don't have all day.
Put the key in and turn it on.
- This one? - Mm-hmm.
Now, the right pedal is the gas. The other one's the brake.
Uh, I don't think I, I can with my, uh, with my leg.
Well, there's only one way to find out. Now, put it in "D."
Now give it some gas.
Okay, we know you can.
Now you just gotta feel how much. Now give it... Try it again.
There you go.
Nice.
Real nice. Now there's a little road up at the end here. Turn onto it.
Now just follow this. Nothin' to it.
I'm gonna kinda close my eyes here for a little while...
so keep goin' till you run out of road.
Uh, I, I, I don't think I can.
It's not a question if you can. You are.
Where'd you get Pilgrim from?
We bought him in Kentucky.
Me and my mom took a trip down there to see him.
Well, that must've been special.
Yeah.
Are you afraid of anything, Tom Booker?
Oh, growin' old.
Not bein' much use.
Hey, Grace?
What went on out there with Pilgrim?
See, Grace, I got a problem.
When I work with a horse, I like to know its history.
Now most of the times, a horse, in its own way, can pretty much tell you the whole story...
but sometimes they get so messed up in their head that you need more to go on.
Now, I don't know how you feel about talkin' about it...
and if you don't feel like it, I understand.
But if I'm gonna figure out what's goin' on in his head...
sure would help me if I understood exactly what happened that day.
You know, not today. Whenever you feel like it.
I'll leave that up to you.
Uh-oh.
- The answer's no. - You haven't even heard the question yet.
Now, the truth is, you'd be doin' me a real favor.
I got all these young colts that need ridin'. Rimrock here, he's...
- I mean, he's feelin' kinda left out. - Poor thing.
He'd be grateful, and he'd take real good care with you.
- Is this how you're gonna make me pay my phone bill? - No. No, ma'am.
That part's extra.
Oh, brought you a hat.
- Oh, I have a hat. - I know. I've seen it.
- I think my stirrups are too long, or... - No, they're fine. Just relax your centre.
- Yeah. - Just sittin' in a bucket.
Well, it's all coming back, you know. I mean, I'll be fine.
Okay. Well, then I'll stop talkin' then.
No, I didn't mean that. L... You know, I've never ridden western before.
- So... - Yeah, but he doesn't know that. Just sit the horse.
- Yeah. - You have a nice seat. You're doin' fine.
Thank you.
- You look good. You feel okay? - Yeah.
- You wanna pick it up a little? - Yeah.
Watch your reins.
Give him some room. Let him do the work.
- Okay? You okay? - Yep.
Let's go.
I envy your mother.
I do.
It must be great to be her age...
and to be at the point in life when you have no more guesswork.
No more impossible decisions to make.
And anyway, it doesn't matter because all the worries and all the wrong turns that you made...
are as valuable and as, as...
as cherished as the things that you did right.
L... Oh, it must be such a relief.
Must be such peace in that.
Well, I don't think you have to wait to be her age to find that kind of peace.
Yeah, but how would you know unless it was all behind you?
Do you have it?
Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes.
When?
Wakin' up on the ranch in the morning, knowin' what I'm supposed to do that day.
Knowing I'm home.
I wake up every morning, and I don't know a damn thing. Was I...
Was I right to bring her here, away from what's familiar...
away from her father, her friends?
And the more I try and fix things, the more everything falls apart.
Maybe you should let 'em fall.
- No, I can't. - Why?
Do you think I was right to come?
I can't answer that, Annie.
Well, I'll know soon enough. If I've made a mistake, Grace'll let me know.
She's a strong kid.
She gets that from somebody.
Thank you for all you're doing.
You and your family, letting us stay at the house.
It wasn't gettin' much use.
What was your wife like?
She had reddish hair.
Not, not quite. Almost. Depended on the light.
She had green eyes.
And when she played, that was it.
Something just went right through me.
I'd never heard music like that played before.
And the way she looked when she played it.
And then one day, she looked at me that way, and that was it...
for both of us.
I knew she didn't want to be a rancher's wife, but I wanted to give it a try.
I thought maybe she could give music lessons to the kids in town, the school maybe...
and that our kids would grow up with my brother's kids and play together.
But she wasn't happy here.
"Too much space," she said.
- So why didn't you stay in Chicago? - Wasn't enough space.
It just wasn't meant to be.
But how did you know, for sure?
Knowing's the easy part. Saying it out loud's the hard part.
Mmm, seems so obvious now, doesn't it?
"We weren't right for each other. If only we knew then. "
I didn't love her 'cause it was right.
I just loved her.
For whatever it's worth, Annie, took a lot of guts for you to come here.
Lift your leg.
Come on. Come on.
Hey, Joe.
Hi.
Would you let me ride your horse?
- Have you talked to Tom about it? - Of course I have.
I don't know. You sure Tom said it's all right?
You gonna give me a hand or what?
- You sure? - Come on.
Okay.
Easy. Hold it.
Okay.
Whoa.
Got it. Got it. I can do it.
Here.
Are you okay?
Hey!
You better not say anything!
I thought there were too many forks, so I just, um...
Oh. You look really pretty.
Thanks.
Does anybody want something to drink?
Shit!
Better go give your mom a hand.
Oh, yeah.
- Everything under control here? - Um, no, not really.
Uh, it's been so long since I've done this.
I've forgotten. Uh, and I couldn't find any Parmesan cheese.
Well, you got an easy crowd out there, as long as it's hot.
Can I do anything?
Uh, just make yourself comfortable.
I am comfortable.
Well, um, in that case you can bring in the pasta.
- You missed a button. - Thank you.
You know, I'll have another round of that spaghetti, if I may.
- Oh, of course. - Thank you.
I, uh, like the sauce. Maybe I could get the recipe.
- It's from a jar. - Oh.
Well, now, you know what?
I, uh, used jar sauce once. I don't believe it was near as good as this.
- Isn't that right, Frank? - No.
No. You know, I think you gotta know which brand to pick.
I sure would like the name of this one.
Annie, you've given me a rare night off.
Ooh, you're touchin' on a sore subject here.
Diane's got these big dreams in her head about gettin' away to...
- Gosh, what was it? Greece, Morocco? - Morocco.
One of these places where women wear masks and...
everybody's runnin' around in robes and...
- Well, we could use a vacation. - Mmm. We're going to Branson for the wedding.
- It is not. You just had a turn. - You don't know how to play the game.
- Hey! - Yes, I do.
- You do not. - Uh-huh.
You know, Frank. You know...
Branson, Missouri is not exactly Morocco.
I got family there. Got no family in Morocco, far as I know.
- It's my turn. - Is not. - You had a turn.
- Was not. - Was so! - Boys, settle down.
- You're just showin' off for her. - Shut up, stupid.
- You're the only one who's stupid, lettin' her go and fall off your horse. - Hey, boys.
- Oh, you little turd. - I saw 'em in the pasture, her tryin' to get on Gonzo.
- Hey, boys! - I saw 'em. - Oh, you turd.
Joe!
- Did you go riding? - No!
- Get up off that floor. - Out you go. - Get outta here.
- Right now. Out the door. - Go on home now. - I didn't start it.
- My gosh! - Here, here. Joe, Joe. Hey. - Come on, let's go. Right now. Come on.
- Let's go. - What's the matter with you boys? - Annie, I'm so sorry.
They're just tired. We, we should just get 'em home to bed.
- Say good night and thank you. - Annie, the dinner was delicious.
- Thank you so much. It was wonderful. - Thank you. You, say thank you.
- Thank you. - Joe, did Grace try to ride?
I expect you should talk to Grace about that, ma'am.
If I did anything wrong, I'm sorry.
Don't let her turn you away.
Grace?
Is everything all right?
- Did you try riding again? - Yeah.
Does that mean I'm cured?
Nobody's trying to cure you.
Look, I just wanna say I think it's great that you're riding again.
- And I think I know why you needed to... - Yeah, you know everything.
Stop it. Why won't you let me talk to you? Why are you so angry with me?
Whatever I do, it's wrong. Whatever I say, it's wrong.
Yeah? Well, now you know how it feels.
Look, I, I know that I'm hard on you sometimes.
- Right. - And I'm sorry if that makes you feel this way.
But if I push you, it's only because I want...
Because if I'm the perfect daughter, that makes you the perfect mother, right?
I don't deserve that!
I don't push for me.
I push for you so that you don't spend half your life not knowing where you belong.
Yeah? Well, you've done a great job.
Yeah.
Who's ever gonna want me like this?
Don't cry.
Who's ever gonna want me like this? Nobody will.
I know it sometimes doesn't seem this way, but I do understand what, what you're feeling.
When I was your age, and when my, when my dad died...
I'd felt like I'd lost everything and I'd be all alone, and...
And... But I've got you.
I used to pray every night...
that you and Dad would have another kid...
so I wouldn't have to be so, uh, special.
I, I know.
And I know how, how hard it must be to have lost your best friend...
and have your body be different than from how you'd like it to be.
But one day, somebody will look at this extraordinary woman that you're becoming and...
all they'll see is how much they love you.
That's all I see.
- Yep? - Hello, this is A T& T Conference Service.
- Is this Annie MacLean? - Yes.
I have a conference call scheduled for you with Mr. Gottschalk and Mr. Felton.
Mr. Felton. Hold on, please.
Okay, I'm ready.
I've been waiting for you to come back.
Are you hungry?
Judith was, um, telling me about this boy.
I never even got his name.
We were gonna go around the railroad bridge.
We were laughing about something. I don't know what.
And, um, her horse fell...
and Judith's foot was caught in the stirrup.
And she was so scared.
And next I saw this truck coming around the turn.
And it was honking, trying to get us to move.
And I, I-I tried to grab her reins and...
to get her horse to move out of the way.
And the truck started to skid.
And th-there was no time to do anything.
It ran right into Judith, and...
And she just disappeared.
And then it came at Pilgrim and me.
And Pilgrim reared up at the truck.
And I fell off.
But Judith... Oh, God, Judith.
- I'm so sorry, Judith. - Grace.
Now, I'm not gonna tell ya it's gonna stop feelin' this bad.
But I will tell you you didn't do anything wrong.
The same thing could've happened to me...
or to Frank or to Joey.
And it doesn't make any sense to try to figure out why these things happen.
There was a boy from the Blackfeet reservation.
He used to do some work around here for a while.
Sixteen, strong kid, good kid.
He and I were really, really good friends.
One day he went swimmin' and dove headfirst into the lake...
and right into a rock.
And it snapped his neck, paralyzed him.
And after the accident...
I'd look in on him from time to time.
But he wasn't there.
It was like his mind, his spirit, whatever you want to call it, just disappeared.
The only thing left was just anger.
Just sort of as if the...
the boy I once knew just went somewhere else.
I know where he goes.
I know you do.
Don't you disappear.
You do whatever you have to do to hold on.
I'll tell you one more thing.
You know when Pilgrim reared up against that truck?
You know what I think?
I think that damned horse loved you so much he was tryin' to protect you.
That's what I think.
- How did you get like this? - No, no, no. Get up.
Let me show you.
- Wanna see it again? - Yep.
- Can you do it without smiling? - Yep.
No, you can't. Not possible. I can feel the muscles right...
- Try me. - I can feel the muscles right...
Must be nice to have a few days off work, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.
It's more than a few days, though. I'm not an editor anymore.
- First time I said it out loud. - They fired ya?
No, no. It's more like a...
Yeah. They fired me.
- You don't seem too upset about it. - Delayed shock.
Or maybe not.
I'm sure I can talk my way back in there or get another magazine someplace.
But maybe I don't... Well, I'm just not sure I... I'm not sure I want to.
Well, I guess you don't have to figure it out till you get home.
- See, when you hit like a windmill... - Yeah.
It's not gonna do any good.
But if you hit down, like you can hit a golf club...
come back down, down into it.
Did you always know this is the life you wanted?
Well, I was a rancher's daughter.
I guess it's not too far to go to becomin' a rancher's wife. Yeah.
Yeah. Frank's a good man.
Oh, they don't come better.
I don't deny there are times I think about all the things I won't have.
Maybe I'll get to see Morocco. Probably not.
Did Tom have many girlfriends after his divorce?
Hey, look, Annie, I'm not good at this sort of talk.
Goes around and round somethin', and never gets to it, so let's just say what it is.
Tom means so much to this family.
Don't you go lookin' here for whatever it is you're lookin' for.
Don't make that man go through somethin' that took him so long...
to see his way clear of in the first place.
I don't think Tom would do anything he didn't want to do.
Yeah. He's a good man.
Ooh, he's got a gift. Comes from heaven above, I swear.
But he's still just a man.
Bitter raindrops glisten
On the painted Injun flower
Honey child, the mornin'
Loves you true
The muddy road is brown and still
As far as you can see
Honey child, the noontime is...
Couldn't, um...
There's something I need to know.
Are you sure?
Gotta get back.
Dad?
Dad!
- Diane. It's a pleasure. Welcome. - Diane.
- Hello. Frank. - Hello, Frank.
- This is our oldest boy, Joe. - Hi, Joe.
- And, and this is Mr. Booker. - Tom.
- Hi, Tom. - It's a pleasure.
And I want to thank you for the way you took in my girls here.
I can already see a difference in them. Very grateful to you.
Dad? Dad, did you notice? No cane.
I know. It's amazing.
- Could we show him Pilgrim, Tom? - You bet.
- Let's go get your bags. - Need a hand, Annie?
- Yep. - See you later.
So at this point I'm, I'm pretty sure I'm lost.
So I stopped by this general store and ask if anyone knows the Booker ranch.
And this, this nice, uh, older gentleman with a bandage on his head...
uh, gave me directions.
- Sweet Jesus. That's Henry Vanoker. - Oh.
I'm surprised you didn't wind up in Mexico.
Well, once when, uh, Dad was in India, he, he got lost...
way, way up in these mountains.
And when he finally found his way back, everyone said that he had discovered a new route.
And they redid all the maps.
Well, now how'd you end up in India, Robert?
Oh, this is right after college. I was in the Peace Corps.
Well, that's where he met Mom.
Hey, tell 'em about when, uh, Mom went looking for Tubab.
- No, honey, I... - Oh, Dad! Come on, Dad.
Uh, well, Mom was a writer, and, um, Dad knows the rest.
- Come on. - She was a journalist for an English periodical.
- Uh, what was it called? - Cambridge Monthly.
Right. And she decided to go to India all by herself without knowing a soul.
Uh, she had no place to stay, but she was, she was told to look up Tubab.
- Tubab? - She comes to my door...
suitcase and typewriter...
and asks where Tubab is, and I said, "Right here. "
And she said, "You're Tubab?" I said, "No, my name is Robert.
Tubab means white man, and yes, I am. "
And that was how we met.
Small bed. Maybe I should sleep in the barn.
You're allergic to hay.
I, I apologize for the surprise.
- But the days only opened yesterday, and I figured that... - You don't have to apologize.
You have every right to be here.
You were right to bring her here.
Well, there've been plenty of times I wasn't so sure.
Must be tired, huh?
Yeah.
And then out here, not far from this, I'll show you the, uh, bulls...
- Sorry about that. - Oh, that's okay.
- I can't believe it's the same horse. - We still have a ways to go.
So, uh, how much longer do you think?
Like I told your wife, it's really up to Pilgrim.
Uh-huh.
- Dad, will you come dance? Please, Dad. - All right.
Daylight has found me
Here again
You can ask me anything
But where I've been
You should know the reason
Why I called
I was lookin' for
A soft place to fall
Lookin’ for a soft place
Nothin' more than a small taste
Of a love that ended
Long ago
Lookin’ for a place to hide
A warm bed on a cold night
I didn't mean to hurt you
No, no, no
Lookin' out your window
At the dawn
Baby, when you wake up
I'll be gone
You're the one who taught me
After all
How to find a soft place
To fall
- The summer is really very brief. - Oh, there's no time at all.
After I doctor those fellas, do you want me to put them in the upper or lower pasture?
- Well, upper. - Okay.
That's very short, very short.
You grew up here? This is, this is where you're from?
I, I wasn't born here, but I've always...
- The winter is real... - I asked Annie. Of course she didn't know.
- What do you do? - Well, of course that's the time we gotta feed cattle...
and hope the majority of' em survive the summer here.
Is this how it's gonna be now, hmm?
You don't speak to me? We don't speak to each other?
Well, I'm speaking to you now, so say something.
- No. - Why?
- I can't get in the middle of this. - Well, I'm afraid you are in the middle of this.
- He's a good man, Annie. - I never said he wasn't. I can't change the way I feel.
- You gotta figure out what you want. - Do you know what you want?
I do know what I want. And I'm tryin' real hard not to get lost in this.
I never expected to feel this way again.
Annie, this is where I belong. This is who I am.
Is this what you want?
Yeah.
Are you sure?
Yeah.
Can you tell that to your family? To Robert? To Grace?
If you had a chance to go home and change things, would you?
You can't ask me that. It's not that simple.
It is.
It's not fair.
No, it's not fair.
There's something you gotta do tomorrow, boy.
He'll be okay, Grace. Just hang on there a minute or two.
Tom will get him all right.
- What are you doing? - Gonna have to do somethin' different, Grace.
It's not gonna hurt him, right?
Nothing we've done has hurt him.
Grace, this is Pilgrim's chance, and it's yours, too.
Okay.
Let him get everything ready. Come on, Grace.
Come along.
That's enough! Stop!
- Grace, this is where you come in. - No.
Come on.
Okay, I want you to get down here, Grace.
- Grace, I want you to come over here and sit next to me. - But...
- But, why, why would he let me... - Grace, look at him.
Look at him.
He's okay. And you never did anything to let him down.
- No. - Grace, listen to me. - No, I can't.
Grace, you've gotta do this.
Trust me just one more time.
- Do what? - I want you to come over here and sit next to me.
Start right here where the neck is and the head, and I want you to stroke him.
I want you to rub him and feel him all over.
That's it.
That's it. Go on ahead.
Grace.
Now we're going to show Pilgrim here how to help you get on him.
Because, you see, there's a point where neither of you is gonna need me anymore.
And we're there.
I'm not askin'. Put your leg over the saddle here.
That a girl.
Now, we're gonna rock him up.
Oh.
- Dad. - Honey, you were wonderful.
Hey there! Gettin' ready to go home, are ya?
Mm-hmm. Is Tom around?
No, he went to Sheridan to get some horses. He left last night.
Um, when's he coming back?
Oh, I don't rightly know.
Let me know when you need some help loadin' Pilgrim, okay?
Yeah.
- What time's your flight? - 12:15.
The Bookers want to leave for the airport by 9:30.
Sure you want to drive Pilgrim back?
Well, I already know the way, and it's not like I have a job to rush home to.
To tell you the truth, I could use the time alone.
- When are you planning to start? - Oh, I guess I'll leave when you and Grace go.
May I make a suggestion?
What?
Take your time.
What's the matter? You look like there's something wrong.
I'll tell you something, Annie.
I stood there looking at that horse, and I swear I felt like the same thing was happening to me.
And I have two choices.
I can either fight the way things are...
or accept them.
See, um...
I always knew I loved you more.
Didn't bother me.
I guess I felt kind of lucky, a little amazed that...
a woman like you would want to be with a man like me.
And I guess I thought if I could do everything right... If I could...
If I was the best husband I could be, the best father...
even, even being a good lawyer only mattered because of what it meant for us.
If I could do all that...
it wouldn't make any difference if we loved each other the same or not.
I didn't ask for more.
I told myself I didn't need any more.
But...
the truth is, you don't know how you feel about me.
You don't know if you want a life with me anymore.
And the truth is...
I don't want you to come home until you do know...
one way or the other.
Okay?
- Thanks, Joe. - Yep.
Goodbye, Annie. Good luck to ya.
Thank you. And, and you, too.
- All right, everybody in. Frank, we all set? - I believe so.
- I can't believe he's not here to say goodbye. - Oh, he probably got held up is all.
No, sweetie. The truth is, he's not real good at goodbyes.
You know, come to think of it, not too good at hellos either.
Frank.
- You ready? - Just a second.
- When will you be home? - Oh, in a few days.
I'll miss you.
Well, if I get lost, you know where to send the search party.
Could be just about anywhere.
I'll call you, okay?
- Bye. - Bye.
He goin' back inside the trailer or runnin' alongside it?
I just wanted to be here when you left.
I don't want to leave you.
I don't want you to.
Just a few more days.
- And then? - Oh.
Why did this happen?
I don't ask those questions, Annie. And I didn't ask to love you, but I do.
Oh!
I'll always have that with me.
Tom.
Can we go for one last ride, hmm?
Yeah. I'll saddle 'em up.
Ripped by: SkyFury